


The Broda Bless You or How Charlie Met Barney

by grimorie



Category: Life (TV)
Genre: Gen, General, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-02
Updated: 2010-01-02
Packaged: 2017-10-05 15:33:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grimorie/pseuds/grimorie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlie gets sartorial advice from the most unlikely of sources.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Broda Bless You or How Charlie Met Barney

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer**: (Un)fortunately, Charlie Crews and Barney do not belong to me.

Charlie was contemplating his drink. He was free. He was not free. He was one with the universe, he was the ever spinning --

"She wants me."

Charlie turned and saw a man sink to the chair next to him. The man smirked then glanced at Charlie sideways. "It's the suit. Sets us apart from the herd." The man nodded to the girl across the bar then looked at Charlie up and down and almost but not quite grimaced. In fact, it looked interestingly like a grimace and a wince of disgust. "Let me guess, you're one of those people who rely on--" he made airquote gestures, "'charm'."

"I don't really know," he answered honestly.

The man shook his head and made a clicking sound then threw his arm around Charlie. Charlie tensed but the other man didn't seem to notice.

"You poor, poor man, lucky, for you I happened to stop over and see the sad sap of a man you are. Today, James--"

"Charlie."

"Today, James, is your lucky day. Because today I will teach you how to live!" He glanced at the girl again and winked, "You can consider me your broda."

"My what?"

"Bro-da. Your bro who is also your yoda, ergo--"

"Broda." Charlie repeated, amused. For some reason he reminded Charlie of Ted. He hadn't thought of Ted in a long time.

"Exactly!" The Broda lifted another hand, "I am going to teach you how to live! We, James--"

"Charlie."

"--are going to be closer than blood brothers! We are going to be each other's wingmen for all of..." he paused and seemed to do a lot of mental calculation, "five and a half hours that it takes my plane ready for New York but other than that... stronger than blood!" He clapped Charlie on the back, "Lesson One: Buy a suit!"

Charlie looked down at his shirt and jeans and nodded. "Okay."

"...suits are cool. Don't argue with me about--" The Broda paused, "Wait, did you say 'okay'?"

Charlie shrugged. "I'll buy a suit."

"You're serious?" Charlie had an uncomfortable feeling that the Broda was about to cry or kiss him or something that would lead to general awkwardness. "You're really going to buy a suit."

"You did say it's a good way to get girls," he pointed out calmly. Broda stared at him then grinned.

"_Nice_. That's how it's supposed to be!" Broda stood up, "James--"

"Charlie."

"--this is the start of a beautiful bro-hood. A bond so strong not even time can shatter. We are going to rule the city. We are going to suit you up and strut and all the lovely ladies of Los Angeles will sit up and notice the..." He broke off. "I think that girl just signaled me over. Cover my bill for me, will ya?"

Charlie blinked, "What happened to our 'bro-hood'?"

Broda let out a little laugh, "Please. This is a harsh, hard world, it's a jungle out here anyway, I already told you lesson one: 'Suit-up!' Now, if you'll excuse me, Stinson's exiting stage hottie."

Charlie watched as Broda Stinson approached the girl he'd been eyeing. The suit did seem to help, he tilted his head.

"Charlie?"

He smiled, "Constance."

"You ready to go?"

"Of course."

Constance smiled at him, patient and amused and a little tired. It's been a tough month for her too.

"I think I'd like to go shopping."

"Oh, Thank God" She looked heavenward, "you're finally buying furniture!"

"No, not exactly." He grinned, "I'd like to buy a suit."

Constance frowned, "Okay."

"The Broda advised it." He said, solemnly.

"You mean, Buddha."

He took out his wallet and paid for the drinks, his and the Broda's. "Also, do you know whatever happened to Ted?"

Constance looked at him, "Who?"

He put an arm around Constance's shoulder, "Suits are nice."

Constance shook her head, "Whatever you say, Charlie."

"What do you think of the name James?"


End file.
